Side Note:

Side Note:
For those who haven't figured it out, or haven't been here: The titles of most of the blogs here are song lyrics. If you google them, it should take you to the song and the song is good to listen to before, during, or after reading to help set the tone of the blog. I find music to be very cohesive with reading and writing.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

24 Oceans with 24 Hearts, 24 Symphonies with 24 Parts, Life is Not What I Thought It Was 24 Hours Ago...

Yesterday was my last day being a 24 year old woman. Yep. That's right. Ol' Fae Fae's got a quarter century under her belt.
Today was very sobering. Everything within the last year sort of played through my mind. There was so much bad, but the good things from it I am clinging tightly to and looking to God to keep my spirits up and trust that He will never give me more than I can handle, though I question sometimes why He seems to think I can handle so much. I don't think I can, but I haven't broken yet, so as usual, He is right and I am wrong.
Over the course of a year, I have lost my home, my car, my husband, my job, all of my furniture, a lot of my dishes, anything I'd had to celebrate holidays. All of the important things I have are tucked away in storage that I constantly fear I may never retrieve. I was forced to move away from the friends I had made and the place I had come to love. My entire life has been altered. Additionally, after having to move home, I lost one of my closest friends who called me his "sister" and whom I called my brother because two punk wanna-be thugs wanted to know what it was like to kill someone.
My heart has been toyed with, bounced around and broken. My strength has faltered, and the person I used to be has begun to fade into someone who's a little more rough around the edges. True that I'm walked on less, but I miss the innocence I used to have when I entered into relationships with people.
Thankfully, the silver linings in this have been able to keep me going:
I still maintain friendships with the important people I met in New York.
I have a new sister-in-law.
I went on a cruise for the first time. Saw the Virgin Islands and the Bahamas.
I tried foods I had only ever dreamed I'd actually get a chance to try.
I made closer friends, and realized the ones I could do without.
I finally met me nephew, Justus.
I loved and lost, but lived.
I finished school.
I am alive.

Hello, 25. I'm here now and I am ready for you. Bring on this near year of my life. I've got this.

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