And So It Begins...

Hubby has ventured off into the sand box to play with the other big boys for a little while. In the meantime, I am here doing my thing and being strong. I had my weak and weepy moments, but to be honest I feel blessed that I am holding up so well. I keep my head focused on a task each day and I do it and I'm fine. I do, however, miss being at the house if I'm out too long. I guess part of me thinks if I come home and wait in his chair long enough he'll call or text or burst through the door and say "Just kidding! Ha! Fooled you!" But I know better. This is part of why I didn't disillusion myself into thinking he wouldn't go. Its better this was, and especially having this deep inner peace that he is going to be fine.
Moving along, I got ten chapters of my first course knocked out yesterday. They were fairly easy to get through as were the quizzes. I feel pretty good about school still, especially since I feel like I am accomplishing something for myself. I don't do very much that is just for me, and I think that every now and then I need to. I feel like sometimes I get very bogged down in the mindset of wanting to please and I forget that I need to rest and be me and do something for me on occasion just because I can. School is for me. This is so I can feel better and not feel like I've done nothing with my education and so that if/when the time comes that I can work, I will be able to do so in a way that contributes and makes me feel satisfied with myself. Scooping ice cream was a blast, but it wasn't fulfilling. Then again, the people I worked with hating me because I did a good job and got a raise before they did probably didn't help. Heh.
This week I've got my stay-busy-keep-my-mind-occupied plans pretty well set. Throw in a little working out to hopefully aide me in managing to sleep at night and boom, the ball is rolling!
I wish I had more to say, but I'm cold and a little sleepy and my brain is a little frazzled from studying. I think I'll just end this here for the evening.

<3s
Fae