"Dude. She Wants the D."

It would appear to me that I have missed something. I'm not sure where, but I did. You see, as a child, I was brought up to say please and thank you. To say "You're welcome."  To have these crazy things we referred to in my house as "manners."
However, those sneaky, conniving people I call my parents who were supposedly teaching me to be a decent human being never told me that secretly they were teaching me how to be a flirtatious strumpet!
Yes. That's right. All of this saying "Hello" and being taught to genuinely want to know how someone is doing when I ask, it's all been a ruse! A clever one to lure the opposite sex in.
And not just me. All men and women, apparently, are doing this. Polite conversation? Pssh! A likely story. A mere cover up for intentions far less honorable.

Or... OR...

Now just give me a second, hear me out here... Maybe, just maybe...when I say "Hi, how are you?" I'm simply asking a question. Being polite. Trying to not be rude and seem disinterested. Maybe I care about how someone is doing because they look down, or because I heard they'd been unwell.
How is it we can so easily misconstrue such simple conversation into something so much more than it is? Why can companions of the opposite sex not accept that, just because you share similar interests or enjoy their company or polite conversation,t that does not in any way, shape, nor form mean that you desire to be anything more than just a friend?

Women are one thing. Sorry, ladies, but you and I both know that from a young age we have society, movies, and nearly any adult in the world telling us that if a boy talks to us, he must like us. Or if he is mean to us, he must like us. Or if he ignores us, he's probably shy and likes us. The world revolves around us and we're told every boy, logically, must think we are their Aphrodite. No way that they're just being boys who haven't even hit the age yet that they think anything past "cooties" when they see us. Nope. We are the proverbial center of their little universe.
Then we let those stupid, infantile thoughts simmer on the back burner during adolescence and adulthood and boil over occasionally. Which makes a mess.
Women like to envision that any attention or kindness that someone male gives them must mean the man is madly in love with them. Beyond the opposite of true, ladies. Men are not like us. Men can see us as just a human being with funbags attached and nothing more. They don't even see some of us as a sexual being because fact is, they friendzone us in their own way. They see us as a friend-only, for whatever reason, and that is that. (Yes, gentlemen, that's right. You friendzone too.)

And men, you always want to say we're the ones who assume or get emotional, but clearly not. Speaking from experience, you guys can make things just as awkward and messy as any female. Infact, sometimes more awkward, because when we get blown off, we just get hurt and disappear. You guys like to linger and hope we'll change our minds. (In which case I begin to refer to you as a Stage V Clinger, and I begin to think of ways to get rid of you. Which is hard for me because I suck at being mean.)

In short, just because someone is thoughtful, polite, or using their head and heart to think of you doesn't mean they picture you naked or hear church bells when you're around.  It doesn't mean they are dreaming of picking daisies with you and scribbling your name on notebooks.  It may just mean they're a decent human being.  If you want to know if it's more than that, then ask. But don't assume, and whatever you do, don't make it weird.