When Leave Means Leaving...

This week is our Pre-D leave. Its the time when all the guys in hubby's unit get the opportunity to spend time with their families. Its a really nice idea but at the same time, its a sobering one. This leave time cements the knowledge that he will have to go soon. I don't like the idea. I know, like he knows, that he could easily get himself put on profile and not have to go, but he doesn't want that. He wants to do what he signed up to do. He feels a moral obligation not only to his country, but to his fellow soldiers and himself to do what is right. No matter how much I will miss him, I support that decision. I love him and I have faith in him that he will come back to me and I have faith in God that he won't take my husband from me.
I will admit, though, that with everyone else I know sending their husbands off to the less dangerous areas I get angry and jealous. I call my mom when I have these feelings because she lets me scream and cry into the phone and doesn't judge me. She and Dad just let me talk. It isn't fair, to me. I can't wrap my head around why it is that my husband has to go to the fronts where they are clearing and building. Why can't he go to the "police action" or to the bases that are already established? Why? Because the Army said so. I'm adapting as best I can to that fact. When the Army says it, it is what it is. I can't call up his Chain of Command and scream and cry. I can't ruin his career and be that wife, so instead I stay here, I support him and I do my best to stay strong for him and for me.
I can do this.
We can do this.

<3s
Fae