A 47.1 pound box arrived for me from FedEx yesterday. My dear hubby signed for it for me since I wasn't here. Inside were all of my books for school, a neat swag bag, notebook, pens and, the pièce de résistance, a 32 gigabyte Ipod Touch. Just for me! Loaded with all of my video lectures. Pretty sweet deal, if I say so myself. Of course, being the mature young adult that I am, the first thing I did was figure out how to load it up with sweet music for when I'm not studying. My books are now organized by course across my dining room table for studying space because if I put them by my computer I will -never- get anything done.
Rewinding to before the box, the weather yesterday was tremendous. I was full of energy regardless of being under-the-weather for the last four days and got dressed and went curb-scavenging with my friend Claryssa for move-out goodies from people on post. I got a free grill in great condition, a vacuum for Giselle, a floor lamp and later Claryssa went a little gankster and unhooked the hose from their house and ran down the road to my house with it. (Don't worry, she didn't steal it. She confirmed with housing they were gone, so maintenance just would have tossed it!)
Today we decided to make some excellent use of the freebie-grill and I marinated and grilled us some sirloins and made some mashed potatoes, veggies and sauteed mushrooms and onions to boot. He's spoiled, he really is. In fact, everyone keeps telling me he is and I am really only just now realizing they might be right. He's come to expect things now, and sometimes I must be honest, I wonder if they are appreciated now. I've been told that the 12 months of separation will probably assure that that changes but I still find myself wishing I felt a little more appreciated now. I also wonder how, if I start working full time once my certification is complete, it will affect things. If I am working full time, the likelihood of making three meals a day and cleaning each day is going to be slim, and so I wonder how things will work then. I know we can make anything work but its a matter of figuring everything out I guess.
There's been alot of figuring things out within this last month and I know there is only more and more to come. Its part of the puzzle of life and our pieces don't always match, so there's some trimming and tossing out of old pieces. As long as the big picture in the end is what it needs to be that is what matters. :)
<3s
Fae
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
This Little Engine Is Gonna Do It...
The mantra is working so far. The "think," however, has been replaced with "know." The more I say it, the more I feel like I can do it. No matter how many of my teammates in this deployment drop off and give in, I've got to keep my head in the game and do what I can to stick this out. I don't want to go home. I want to stay here, work on our home. Find him a cheap truck/suv/car. I want to figure things out for myself, put things together, paint things, plant things. I want to do it all and I will do it.
I don't think I can. I know I can. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I can do it.
I don't think I can. I know I can. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I can do it.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
"Army Wife" isn't an MOS...
For those of you who aren't too good with hints, I am the wife of a soldier in the Army. Now then, before I go on, I want everyone to re-read that sentence. I am the wife of a soldier. As in, I am not in the Army. I am his wife. (And for extra clarification because some women are gossipy, he joined after we were married, so no I'm not a tag-chaser either.) Last time I checked when he and I were thumbing through the big ol' book of MOS's (military occupational specialties) there wasn't one for "Army Wife."
Now the reason I say all of that is this: I did not sign any papers, I did not make any verbal agreements, didn't shake any hands, didn't make any secret winks and nods to agree to be on call 24-7, to follow rules, to be held accountable for things and yet here I stand. (Well, I'm sitting presently but you get the idea.) This lifestyle is a career for us both. It consumes our time, it fulfills our needs, it provides for us and things are expected of both of us. Someday when we have children, things will be expected of them even though they didn't sign up for anything either. The saying people who are not in our shoes seem to like goes something along these lines: "You knew what you were getting into." But did we? Sure, we knew that, especially now, a deployment is probably an inevitability, military training and FTX's mean time apart, and worrying is going to happen. But did we know that the work hours would be unstable and bounce around? Did we know that when they say "We're going to be emphasizing family time before deployment" that what they actually meant was "Make sure you see your family as much as you can after work because you're going to be spending the majority of your time with us." Did we know that deployment looming over our heads would send us on the rollercoaster of emotions from shock, sadness, impatience, guilt, anger, sadness, frustration, happiness, diligence, readjustment, growth, hurt and the others we never let out? We never knew everything until it happened. We couldn't have known what would happen or how we would handle it until we were in the life living it.
When my father was in the military many years ago, the family of a soldier was considered unnecessary baggage. My dad and his comrades were told for years "If the Army wanted you to have a wife, they'd have issued you one." Times are changing. At each meeting, each briefing, each class and each speech we go to, we hear thanks for the service of our spouse, and then after we hear thanks for ours service as their support system as well. We are recognized as a crucial part of our soldiers' lives. We are scene as a part of the Army and a living, striving, growing workforce to aide our spouses, families, communities and country. We are no longer the chaff but instead are honey to the grain in the bread we share as a military community. This is the best life I could have ever hoped for. It is rough, it is full of heartache, but it has blessed us. Our cup runneth over.
And to think, the only promise I had to make was to Love, Honor & Cherish.
<3s
Fae
Now the reason I say all of that is this: I did not sign any papers, I did not make any verbal agreements, didn't shake any hands, didn't make any secret winks and nods to agree to be on call 24-7, to follow rules, to be held accountable for things and yet here I stand. (Well, I'm sitting presently but you get the idea.) This lifestyle is a career for us both. It consumes our time, it fulfills our needs, it provides for us and things are expected of both of us. Someday when we have children, things will be expected of them even though they didn't sign up for anything either. The saying people who are not in our shoes seem to like goes something along these lines: "You knew what you were getting into." But did we? Sure, we knew that, especially now, a deployment is probably an inevitability, military training and FTX's mean time apart, and worrying is going to happen. But did we know that the work hours would be unstable and bounce around? Did we know that when they say "We're going to be emphasizing family time before deployment" that what they actually meant was "Make sure you see your family as much as you can after work because you're going to be spending the majority of your time with us." Did we know that deployment looming over our heads would send us on the rollercoaster of emotions from shock, sadness, impatience, guilt, anger, sadness, frustration, happiness, diligence, readjustment, growth, hurt and the others we never let out? We never knew everything until it happened. We couldn't have known what would happen or how we would handle it until we were in the life living it.
When my father was in the military many years ago, the family of a soldier was considered unnecessary baggage. My dad and his comrades were told for years "If the Army wanted you to have a wife, they'd have issued you one." Times are changing. At each meeting, each briefing, each class and each speech we go to, we hear thanks for the service of our spouse, and then after we hear thanks for ours service as their support system as well. We are recognized as a crucial part of our soldiers' lives. We are scene as a part of the Army and a living, striving, growing workforce to aide our spouses, families, communities and country. We are no longer the chaff but instead are honey to the grain in the bread we share as a military community. This is the best life I could have ever hoped for. It is rough, it is full of heartache, but it has blessed us. Our cup runneth over.
And to think, the only promise I had to make was to Love, Honor & Cherish.
<3s
Fae
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