Why Can't We Be Friends...

When you are a child in school, making friends is as easy as borrowing crayons, playing on the same slide or sitting next to each other in class. From elementary school through your senior year of high school you develop friendships easily because you see the same people on a day to day basis, you are all doing many of the same activities and share the similar bond of adolescence. The same can not be said for adulthood.
As an adult, all of your innocent, youthful confidence seems to seep away into the unknown and you are left with nervousness, shyness and doubt in yourself. You begin to question whether people like you, would want to know you and whether or not you're being "that person." You know the one I mean, the one who creeps you out with their clingy need to be friends. The one you'd like to grab by the ankle and tug away so their head isn't always stuffed up your rear end.
It's hard to make friends as an adult. We have responsibilities and agendas that lead us to believe we are too busy to be a good friend or that others are too busy for us. What we forget, however, is that we all need friends.  Each of us needs companionship to get through hard times. Your family can attribute to some of your friendship quota, but your spouse and family can only do so much.
With the impending D-word ahead for Erik and I, my need to make friends is ever more apparent to me. Heather/Vchanny will always be my best friend but with the two of us being military spouses the inevitability of being stationed apart from one another was something we knew we would have to fave eventually, I just don't think we realized it would be so soon. Regardless, with her 18 hours away I need to put myself out there and try to make bonds here as well so that I when Erik does return he doesn't find me rocking in a corner singing "I'm a Little Teapot" to myself and wondering why the dog is starving.
Okay, so that is a bit of an exaggeration, but in all seriousness I am making some effort as well as what would appear to be a little headway. I had a minor set back in December where the friend I had though I had made mysteriously cut all contact betwixt herself and Erik and I, with no explanation,  might I add. I chalk that up to experience and choose to move on and know that clearly I need to be more selective.
I think that taking these classes is helping because I am meeting people at them, and though perhaps I may not be buddies with the people I meet I am at least becoming more social and trying to be less apprehensive about striking up conversations.
In myself, I see alot of doubt. I see myself asking: Am I annoying? Am I being too friendly? Am I talking too much? But at the same time, this is me. I am being me. I am not a rude person, I am sarcastic and cynical, but I can also be fun and cheerful. I can be helpful and help to put a smile one someone's face. If I have to change who I am, why should I want to be someone's friend?
Making friends as an adult would be much easier if we all carried around crayon boxes to share.

<3s
Fae